Chapter Nine: Preview

Sam: So H.G., how was camp?

H.G.: Okay.

Frodo: Did you miss us?

H.G.: Of course I did, but I was able to plot out the whole upcoming chapter, so there’s very little work involved for Sam.

Sam: *smile*

H.G.: Unfortunately there’s also very little cuddling involved for either of you.

Sam: *not smiling*

Frodo: Why? Do you do bad things to us?

H.G.: So if I say there’s little cuddling, you automatically assume that means that I’m evil?

Frodo: Well, yeah. That’s how you work.

Sam: We cuddle and act adorable, or we suffer brutal pain.

Frodo: Or we do both.

Sam: Or Rosie runs around being depressed.

H.G.: Gosh, you’re both so negative!

Sam: But I think you see what we’re saying.

H.G.: Yes, I do.

Frodo: You will wrap up this story, as it’s dying…

Sam: …and then start a new one with more effort to keep us in character.

Frodo: One that involves cuddling, kisses, and happiness, as well as lots of food.

Sam: Or, you know, something that brings people to tears as we overcome horrific torment out of love for each other.

Frodo: Sam!

Sam: What?

Frodo: No more torture!

H.G.: So basically, you want a pre-quest Shire story, or you want a torturefic.

Sam: Basically.

Frodo: Ignore Sam, there will be no torturefics.

Sam: But then she can show how much I love you.

Frodo: But she can do that in pre-quest, too. Imagine how cute little tween us would be.

Sam: …

H.G.: …

Sam and H.G.: AW!

H.G.: …

H.G.: But murder, John…


Frodo: Well, it’s your choice.

H.G.: What would the readers be interested in:

Sam: Yeah guys, what?

Frodo: Adorable, wonderful small hobbits that are sweet and pain-free…

Sam: …or torment in Mordor barely holding onto our lives and each other?

H.G.: Who said it would be Mordor?

Frodo: There’s nothing worse then Mordor.

H.G.: Oh, how little you know. Anyways, I’ll be working on chapter nine, so look for that sometime next week.

Frodo: And while you’re at it, read “Blood and Ashes” by H.G. on Archive of Our Own, even if it’s horrible.

Sam: Horribly angsty.

Frodo: Yeah, that.



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