I wake up today and automatically I know it’s August 26th, because it’s my sister’s birthday.
I’m brushing my hair and checking my email when I realize, there are only three days left in the voting on Middle Hyrule.
If I don’t get more people to vote, I may seriously have to post two fanfictions. And it is loth that I should have to choose between them and risk angering the people who voted for the other one. *gulp*
Holy children of Iluvatar, I’m doomed.
Unless… we get a tiebreaker.
(Okay, so maybe I didn’t word it exactly like that. But I digress.)
By now the little voices in my head began to jabber. Okay not really. But I digress again. If they had, this is what they would have said:
Sam: H.G., we could do advertisements for the fanfictions.
Katniss: Yeah, like some of the people in MMM could talk about MMM and some of the people in THATH could talk about that.
Finnick: And some of the people in “The Quell” could talk about that!
Frodo: Please H.G.?
Fi: Pretty please?
Yoda: Beg you, we do, H.G.
H.G.: You’re going to give away what characters there are!
Merlin: But they won’t know which fanfic we’re from.
Pippin: I can fix that. Fi, Link, Merlin, Katniss, Yoda, and I are from MMM, but Link’s also in “the Quell”, plus Yoda and Katniss and Finnck are in “the Quell”, whereas Sam and I are in THATH, plus Sam’s in “the Quell” and he might come into MMM book two, and Frodo is in all three of the fanfics because there is no escape from Frodo. No matter which way you vote, you’re stuck with Frodo. So, now you know who’s in what.
Katniss: You just completely spoiled a ton of things.
Finnick: Can we please just go and do the advertisement now?
H.G.: Fine, huddle and vote on who gets to announce which fanfic.
To Hurt and To Heal Commercial
[Sam, Frodo, Merry, and Pippin walk on screen holding microphones]
Frodo: Hello Middle-Hyrule readers, Frodo Baggins here.
Sam: And Samwise Gamgee.
Pippin: And Peregrin Took.
Merry: And Meriadoc Brandybuck.
Sam: And we’re here to tell you why you should vote for “To Hurt and To Heal,” or, as we abbreviate it, “THATH.”
Merry: You should vote for THATH because there’s tons of angst.
Pippin: You can watch innocent little me struggle with PTSD.
Sam: And innocent not-so-little me also struggle with PTSD.
Pippin: What do you mean not-so-little you, I’m taller than you are!
Sam: Oh, right.
Frodo: Ahem. You can also cry your eyes out at the Sarose romance….
Merry: And at me nearly dying from battle wounds.
Frodo: Plus, you can watch as I lose my memory and forget who Sam is!
Sam: Wait, WHAT?
[Merry and Pippin groan]
Merry: Frodo, you weren’t supposed to tell him that part.
Sam: You’re going to forget who I am?
Sam: No! No no no! Not allowed! You have to remember me!
Pippin: Relax Sam, it’s not even canon.
Sam: Frodo can’t forget me! So basically H.G. wrote the eighteen chapter “Land of Shadow” where me and Frodo went through all this terrible stuff just so that he could forget who I am?
Sam: *throws arms around Frodo* Nonononononononononononono…….
[Merry and Pippin drag Sam off of Frodo and off-screen]
Merry: Please vote for THATH, people!
[The set goes dim]
The Quell Commercial
[Lights go up, Caesar Flickerman comes onscreen with Finnick, Carynn, and Katniss. Frodo is still standing there from his first commercial]
Caesar: Ladies and gentlemen of Panem, give it up for four of the tributes in the 75th Hunger Games and Third Quarter Quell!
Katniss: Thank you, Caesar.
Finnick: Yeah, thanks, Caesar.
Caesar: Now, Katniss. This will be your second time into the arena.
Katniss: Yes, because you see, the tributes are divided into three categories: oast victors, newly reaped children, and heroes from other worlds.
Frodo: I’m one of the heroes.
Caesar: There will be 60 tributes, is that correct?
Carynn: Yes. I’m the female child from District Twelve.
Caesar: Who is the male?
Carynn: *smirk* Someone you know well, but I’m not saying who.
Frodo: However, though this is a cool fanfic, it only has one vote, whereas THATH and MMM are tied at three.
Katniss: But it’s still cool.
Caesar: I’m sure it is.
Finnick: Anyone want a sugar cube?
H.G.: Move on….
[The set goes dim.]
[Merlin, Saria, Leia, and Nabooru walk on set. Frodo is STILL there.]
Merlin: Hello fans.
Saria: We’re here to tell you about MMM.
Leia: There are few ways to describe it.
Nabooru: It’s just… indescribable.
Frodo: Yet epic all the same.
Saria: You could describe it like this…
Leia: Plotexplodescharactersgocrazyridicukouslyawesomeshipsformpeopledieyoucrypeoplecracksubtlehilariousandoccasionalyrudejokesyoulaugh BOOM BOOM BOOM the entire book explodes.
Merlin: That was a pretty good summary.
Nabooru: But as we said, it’s pretty hard to describe…
Saria: Unlike THATH and “the Quell” though, it’s a comedy.
Leia: Although a few characters will die.
Frodo: People die in every fanfic, except THATH.
Saria: But it’s still hilarious. Very outrageous.
Merlin: Like, ten steps removed from reality.
Nabooru: So, vote for MMM.
If you have already voted, you can’t vote again. Please vote in the comments of this post, not the one you are reading and on the 30th the winner will be announced.
I really hope there’s not a tie….